I weighed myself this morning. Truth – I’ve weighed myself every morning since my birthday on Monday. Monday was actually a little birthday gift, because my weight was at a number that was down from previous days and actually made me smile. The next day it was the same, and while I have said weight is no longer the FOCUS, I can’t lie and say I wasn’t pleased that I seemed to making small progress.
Then I weighed on Wednesday. One pound higher. And Thursday. I was the same, but no biggie. I didn’t even stress. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled because — one pound. Oh well! I have been on spring break, enjoying time in reflection, time with my kids, and re-watching all of “This Is Us” again over a few days because my 11 year old and I just love the show, so it would make sense that I wouldn’t be dropping pounds.
Then this morning, I weighed again. This time two pounds higher than the previous two days. I’d be lying if a small part of me didn’t get sad about it.
But yesterday was my boy’s 8th birthday. We had Chick Fil A for lunch, I had Taco Bell for dinner (the rest of the family had Panda Express but it didn’t interest me) a piece of cake for desert, and I didn’t drink much water. And this morning I was three pounds higher than I was on Tuesday. I’m not saying all of that as an excuse, just as fact. And actually it’s a fact that made me smile and brings me joy. I was with my family yesterday, celebrating a very special day that happened 8 years ago, celebrating a very special boy, and I watched my boy smile and my kids love on each other. And it was all wonderful.
Today I return to healthier choices, like the eggs with avocado that I just ate for a late breakfast and the smoothie I followed it up with. Not because I’m thinking “oh gosh, I have to get these pounds off, I have to get back to Monday’s weight quick.” Because my body feels better when I eat better. And because I love the taste of eggs with avocado, and smoothies, and veggies.
And I’m guessing that tomorrow morning, I’ll probably step back on that scale again, even though I swore off of it. Because truth is, no losing weight is NOT the focus and priority, but being healthy is. And my current weight is not really that healthy for me. So yes, while the time I’ve spent reflecting on life, and replenishing my spirit is important, so is movement. Something I need to incorporate more of, for the balance.
So yes, the number on the scale is higher than it was yesterday. But in many ways so is my spirit, and so is my confidence. Because that number doesn’t define me. How I react to it, does.
So be well, friend. Love yourself for who YOU are, not the number on the scale, the number on your clothes, or the expectations of others. Because that stuff…that’s all just noise.